Foreword; This is the story of my experience of living in Israel for the first time through a rocket attack. I was lucky to be an observer in Jerusalem where rockets do not often reach. For those targeted in Israeli communities in the south, and those caught in the crossfire in Gaza, I could only begin to imagine what they felt. If you want to read my analysis on the events of the day, read my last post.
Each morning as I sip my coffee, I read the headlines of the Jerusalem Post, Haaretz, and Ynet. While caffeine provides my chemical wakeup, reading the news is the mental kickstart that assists my transition from the ignorance of sleep to the realities of the world. Two breaking headlines were on Israeli news; Israel executes targeted strike on terrorist Bahaa- Abu- Al- Ata, and the Palestinian Islamic Jihad is sending a barrage of rockets into southern Israel. No caffeine was needed for my body to tingle and for my mind spin beyond the walls of my Jerusalem apartment. I downloaded red alert, the Israeli created app that warns people about rocket strikes to understand what was happening. Soon, my phone was buzzing 10 times a minute with the names of towns at risk. One by one as my roommates awoke, they joined the conversation in the kitchen as we tried to make sense of the past, present, and future events.
The feeling that lived inside of me during those two days is hard to explain. Every thought that hung in my brain manifested itself somatically in my body. My skin simmered and my gut burned on a constant medium. My breaths drew little air and my throat grew thin with the unrelenting fist of unending anticipation. In the rational brain, my fear didn’t derive from rockets because I knew they wouldn’t come to Jerusalem. I knew my real security risk was terrorists who would feel emboldened to commit stabbing attacks in light of Israeli retaliation, but, I wasn’t so afraid of that either. To an extent, these feelings came from a conflict within; In light of the bloodshed and propaganda wars that ensued over the hours following Al Atas killing, I forced myself to reexamine my positions and question which side was in the right. Didn’t Israel start this fight? How can I support Israel’s military campaign when they kill innocent people? To what extent can I trust Palestinian media? By the same token, to what extent can I trust Israeli media?
That morning, after reviewing emergency procedures on how to take brace position and where to find shelter in public areas, we took a Tiyull (trip) to East Jerusalem with an organization that advocated Palestinian rights. Needless to say, it was hard for many to sympathize with the Palestinian cause on the day when a militant Palestinian faction from the South was attacking Israeli civilians. As my pocket vibrated, I learned the background of Palestinian anger in Jerusalem and was faced with navigating the uncomfortable middle ground of supporting Palestinian self determination and their right to protest while opposing terrorism and violence. Speaking in generalization; My ‘terrorism and violence’ is often viewed ‘armed resistance’ against an oppressive power. When civil resistance doesn’t work, I can understand the impulse to violence but terrorist acts are not armed resistance; Targeting civilians is to wage an offensive war against a defenseless cohort.
As the west awoke It was midday here, and Israel had already committed retaliatory strikes against terror targets. I noticed the common trend that western media only reports on the conflict when Israel is involved. No western media reporting happened between after Al- Ata’s killing and when Israel hit terror targets in retaliation, despite the fact that the PIJ had launched over sixty rockets at civilians.
Despite this, for me, the reporting war happened not in the news but on social media. Stand With Us was extremely active although I was not in the office, reporting the facts of the ground such as rocket counts, impacts, and Israeli strikes. My instagram stories were soon covered with SWU reposts from Jews and non- Jews at like in Philadelphia, from my program and all around. We were successful in filling in the gaps of information that are absent from the larger media which is vital to telling the full story.
Simultaneously, the side against Israel moved into high gear as friends from home advocated against Israeli actions by reposting accounts on their Instagram stories. One profile reposted by my social justice advocate/ peace loving friend had content on their feed glorifying the perpetrators of violent Jihad, and denying the Jewish right to self determination. It doesn’t surprise me how people are taken by the propaganda; the Instagram account Is positioned to resonate with a western audience by highlighting the Palestinian plight in terms of existing social justice paradigms. Another account that was reposted says that they are telling the ‘full story,’ but their comments section is full of people chatting about a Zionist/ Jewish conspiracy against the Palestinians. Let’s be critical thinkers here; When your post has succeeded in uniting antisemites from the Middle East, Europe, and America, you’re either doing a poor job at advocating social justice… or social justice is not your prime mission.
In light of the views of my friends shared on instagram, I was faced with a decision. When people express views that are both anti- Israel and ignorant of the facts, I often stay quiet, but I felt that they may appreciate my unique perspective to offer given that I am living in Jerusalem. When I offered a friend to talk about the conflict, she said that she had heard both sides and that a conversation might not be productive. I told her that in Israel there are always three or more sides and that if she wants to hear a fourth side come back to me and talk. I got a thanks. While I appreciated her graciousness, I didn’t respect her choice for comfort. At the same time I was asking her to hear my truth- a position different from hers- I was practicing what I preached by by exposing myself to Al-Jazzeera, Arab News, Quds Social media, #gaza. That night, I reached out to my other friend, who reposted a post about the grief and anguish felt by the young daughter of Abu Al Ata. After hours of back and forth, fact checking (Gaza is not occupied after the 2005 unilateral disengagement, Israel is not seeking to annex the Palestinians, Jews are an indigenous minority in the Middle East as well as Palestinians ETC), and a Jewish money trope, I walked away again unsuccessful in being heard, but having sharpened my argumentative skills. I was confronted with another aspect behind Israel opinion; hatred of the Jewish state due to prejudice. Whether he knew it or not, his argument had Antisemetic undertones such as the idea of a thieving “Rich Zionist government.” After giving a history lesson and explanation, I suggested to him that he could be a better advocate for change if he avoided the Z word or bigoted tropes. While Zionism is an 1800s movement and Judaism is a religion (…people, culture, nationality etc.), the tenets of Zionism, Jewish self determination and wanting to go back to Israel are immutable from Judaism. They are in our prayers, in our culture, in our holidays, and in our sayings. In our ancient prayer the Shema, we say; “Hear O Israel, Adonai is our god and Adonai is one.” To toss around the word Zionist in a negative context is to use a substitute for the word ‘Jew.’ He vehemently denied ill intention, which I believe, but also denied my perception of his remarks as prejudiced. Ever heard ‘Jew’ed me down’ Or ‘Gyped me’ and thought nothing of it’? I know I have. Our socialization can breed unknown prejudice. He now sends me a daily post about ‘Israeli atrocities…’ some real, some imagined, and some more complicated than a post explain.
After I ended the conversation and before I went to bed, I sent a note to my SWU social media team on WhatsApp saying Kol Hakavod (Well done!) for their hard work reporting on the events of the day and to ask if they needed anything. Noam sent me a winky face back saying ‘Coffee!’ The good intern that I am, I sent them a note saying “brewing” and then another one with the coffee emoji.
As I stepped into my dark bedroom, I prepared for the worst; a barrage of rockets on Jerusalem in the middle of the night. I took shorts, underwear, and a shirt out of my dresser and set it on the floor next to my bed. I stuffed socks in my sneakers and set them where they could easily be slipped on. I wouldn’t have to go far to the bomb shelter; the other bedroom in my apartment is reinforced with thick concrete and a blast door… but who knows how long I would have to stay there if the absolute worst should happen? By that point, 1 million Israelis were in bomb shelter… mind you, Israel only has 9 million citizens.
While we made it through the night, nothing prepared me to waking up to a phone buzzing at 6:30 am to more rocket alerts. With a fluttering heart I dozed back off to sleep, got up and searched the posts with #gaza on Instagram to see what was happening on the pro- Gaza side. Reports of death tolls climbed, everyone considered a civilian, none a target. My terrorists were their freedom fighters. How and why do we see this differently I thought? I have my thoughts, but I’m still trying to understand.
Sirens wailed in the city of Jerusalem throughout these two days more than usual and I wondered what it meant. I’d learn that there were 10s of thwarted attacks by Palestinians on police or Israeli citizens. Ambulances carried the terrorists who are more often than not were injured by police before they could commit violence. I heard of an attempted stabbing by a 14 year old Palestinian boy in the Arab shuk in the old city of Jerusalem where I go often to eat. He was tased while rushing a policeman with a knife, stunned on the cobblestone ground. My first two thoughts; Sadness; Who taught him that violence brings redemption? Second; Thank god that the police used non- lethal force.
When I arrived at the office, the environment was anticipatory, with a collective groan everytime the rocket alarm buzzed. Already, the false headlines had taken hold. Amnesty International condemned the IDF for striking a human rights agency in Gaza. It was quickly debunked by a reporter on the ground but the narrative was already drawn. The building actually exploded from a PIJ rocket. People had various different positions on the targeted killing that resulted in the rockets. It was clear that there were a lot of questions to be asked; why did they have to kill this terrorist now? Didn’t Israel know exactly what would happen in response to the rockets? I would later show up in a video broadcast to our social media saying that I support Israel.
After work, I went to lunch with someone that day who was here during the First Intifada and had missed a bus that blew up at the next stop, killing many. He explained the unmooring feeling of being suddenly unsafe in a place that should be safe. In the 25 years since the failure of the oslo peace process, and in the wake of the Second Intifada and the rise of Hamas, the Israeli public has no doubt become cynical toward peace and collectively scarred from trauma. Everyone is connected to someone who was affected by terror, by stabbing, by car, by bomb, by rocket.
Rockets continued that afternoon and soon a ceasefire brokered by the Egyptians was announced. the PIJ has broken it in small batches but it has generally been held. I settled a bit, knowing that things would return to normal.
In the days following the conflict, I processed the fallout. My professor told me the story of a friend in his town who was walking with her three kids when the sirens went off. She decided that she could only run with two of her kids to the bomb shelter. She scooped up her older kids and ran, leaving the stroller with her baby in the middle of the road. She prayed in the concrete bunker that someone had taken the stroller. Emerging into the harsh light, the street was empty and within two minutes someone returned the stroller to her. Jono’s senior- aged great aunt who lives in Ashdod had to move her bedroom into the bomb shelter because she couldn’t move fast enough. But those stories of women and children exist in Gaza as well; a family of eight was tragically killed. The IDF misjudged a ramshackle house as a PIJ outpost. Conflicting reports suggest that they had either confused two brothers, one a PIJ member one a citizen- or confused their places of living and working. These mistakes are deady.
While I felt I helped tell the full story through Stand With Us, I was sadly powerless to broaden the views of my very own friends back home; Just yesterday someone re-posted a video mocking an interview of an Israeli who said she had to miss her birthday party for rockets in a tone that said “Watch your privilege as you kill Gazans who live in hovels.” Yes and no, my friend, no and yes, and whatever lies between. If only you’d come here to see this vast expanse of gray… you would be as uncomfortable and confused as me.
In the wee hours of the morning this past Tuesday, the Israeli airforce carried out a targeted killing against Baha Abu al-Ata, the leader of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad, an Iranian linked terror group in Gaza. When the smoke cleared from Abu al-Ata’s leveled apartment, his body was paraded through the streets as a martyr, and over the next 48 hours the Palestinian Islamic Jihad exacted retribution by targeting Israeli civilians with over 450 rockets.
When I woke up that day to the sound of my rocket alerts buzzing 5 a minute about southern Israel, I had to figure out what happened and more importantly how I felt about what was happening. In times of conflict it is instinctual to rally around your own flag to support the fight against the enemy. As a critical thinker however, I felt I had to suspend my blind tribalism in order to come to a more reasoned understanding of the conflict. This started with putting myself in the shoes of the ‘evil other.’
I tried to look for moral qualification to the actions of the Islamic Jihad, where I could find understanding, and where I could sympathize. Although they are considered a terrorist organization by many nations (a designation with which I unequivocally agree), their actions are supported by a sizable cohort of the Palestinian people. The Palestinians being humans and thus at large moral people, there must be something that I don’t understand. After unsettling days of reasearch, news reading, and argument, I’ve first come to the understanding that “It’s complicated,” but that I am not without a judgement. I want to shed light an understanding I’ve come to that is not easy to reach from the outside and not shared in news media.
When discussing military actions, It is wrong to draw a moral equivalency between both the intentions and actions of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad, and the Israeli Defense Force. Wedesday’s NPR headline was the poster child for the false moral equivalency; ‘Rockets rain on Israel and Gaza.”
’Rain’ implies two things about the nature of the Israeli and Gazan launched rockets; Like rain, the rockets landing in both Gaza and Israel are high in volume, and like rain, the rockets are indiscriminate of where they land, creating damage in a large area. This Idiom is only descriptive of the actions and Intentions of the PIJ and is fundamentally misleading about the IDF. Did the PIJ send a high volume of rockets as to be described as “rain”? Yes, The PIJ sent 450 rockets into Israel in 48 hours. Comparitiveley the IDF launched limited retaliatory F-16 strikes only in direct response to continuing rocket fire. Like rain, were these PIJ rockets indiscriminate of where they landed? Yes, they were aimed in the direction of Israeli Civilians in towns, kibbutzim, and cities in the south with indiscriminate weaponry to inflict the MOST damage possible. In contravention with the Geneva accords the heads of Al- Quds rockets are filled shrapnel in order to increase damage by spraying on impact. Conversely, the IDF targets individuals of terror organizations and attempts to minimize the damage to the community and loss of life. Of Abu- Al Ata’s three story building, Israeli F-16’s leveled only his floor, the rest intact demonstrated by pictures of the day. A video was aired of a high rise with ONE apartment smoking from a strike.
When people die in Gaza, it doesn’t automatically mean that the IDF committed war crimes. Collateral deaths of innocent Gazans can be explained by many factors none of which are that Israel targets civilians (not all explanations morally absolve the IDF’s conduct.) 1.2 Million Palestinians live in the 141 square miles of Gaza, where terrorists hide in civilian areas, using humans as shields by putting their operations and arsenals in schools, humanitarian sites and neighborhoods. Avoiding collateral deaths is thus difficult and many have urged restraint on Israels part. There is a two sided coin to this; Israel calculates the likelihood of collateral deaths and often still chooses to strike at the time of least impact but still when there could be collateral deaths which is tragic. These collateral killings do not always go without investigation; the IDF publicly announced a probe into the eight person Gaza family that was killed in a strike. On the other hand, the death tolls are a distortion in their own right; many of those killed in Gaza were supposed to be, (We can debate the necessity/ Morality of targeted killings but that’s for another time). Death tolls do not always differentiate between terrorists and innocents because of course, to much of the Arab world (and world), these are freedom fighters and now martyrs of the cause; 25 of the 34 killed were Islamic Jihad Targets. In contrast, no Israelis were killed. Looking from the other side, Israeli safety doesn’t mean the PIJ didn’t commit warcrimes. Israelis stayed safe not because the PIJ showed restraint, or because they sent rockets at non- civilian targets, but because the Israelis have the Iron Dome Missile Defense System which intercepted 90% of the rockets going to civilian neighborhoods, and Israel has bomb shelters and bomb alert sirens. Still, there are pictures of houses in Ashkelon with holes in the ceiling above playrooms with children’s toys strewn about.
To counter everything I just said, we often miss that the human aspects on the ground between Israel and Gaza are the same. When innocent people die, both Israelis and Palestinians shed the same pained tears, hug their loved ones with the same love that bond the other together, and too often hate with the same face the other who they feel killed their loved one. An exchange from a friend back home illustrates the complicated nature of this situation; He posted a video of the daughter of Abu Al Ata sobbing over the death of her father captioning “Pray for Gaza.” I understood her devastation to be real and valid; her world was truly rocked. For humanities sake we should allow ourselves to empathize with her and what her life is to be now. Her own devastation about her fathers death cannot overrule the fact that for her father, the lives of innocent women, men and children were worthless; he orchestrated hundreds of offensive attacks targeting children the age of his own daughter in kindergartens, and homes in Israel. For the Palestinians connected to PIJ, or simply under Hamas rule, the true yoke of oppression comes from those who see indiscriminate violence as a means to an end.
My most interesting experience this past week was going to the Anti Defamation League’s annual Social Cohesion Summit in Tel Aviv. The ADL is a non profit that seeks to combat antisemitism and fight for the rights of all people to live freely. As part of their mission in Israel, they seek to improve relations between Jews and Arabs, and mend divisions created by differences in religion, politics, etc between Jews, Arabs and Christians.
It was a Ted type of event, full of speakers, important names, and group debates.
The Keynote speaker was Benny Gantz, leader of the center Left Blue and White party. At the moment he is desperately trying to form a parliamentary coalition in order to lead the country. His message was that social unity would allow a unity government to form. A unity government is where each of the leading parties (Likud and Blue and White) share the role of Prime Minister. However, both main parties have vowed at different times to never be in a coalition with the other. This leaves Gantz in a position of recruiting the Joint List (Arab Parties), into his coalition. Although partisans in America may say that their elected leaders are trying to dismantle America from the inside (be it ‘Fascist’ trump, or ‘Communist’ Bernie,) in Israel there are actually parties who seek to see it destroyed. Certain factions within the Joint list don’t affirm Israel’s right to exist and seek to dismantle the Jewish state. This last resort makes coalition forming harder.
Subsequently, panels of former and current parliament leaders from all sides of the spectrum were interviewed. Moshe Gafni, a Haredi Rabbi and Parliament member complained that Gantz’ “Unity” narrative is disingenuous; Gantz seeks a liberal unity which means a government excluding the religious parties which tend to be more right wing. Ayelet Shaked, whose unique character is non- existent in American politics is a right wing superstar, feminist, and bridger of the gap between the Haredi Parties and left. She weighed in on a recent political row, wherein a community held an event in honor of an important Haredi rabbi and invited many political attendees. Men and Women were separated, and women were not allowed to sing or perform , as per ultra religious tradition. Her view was that the organizers had the right a private event in honor of a Rabbi with respect to his religious beliefs, even if they may be widely viewed as sexist. Nitzan Horowitz from the Democratic camp dissented however, remarking that social unity and integration of the Haredi community can never be achieved if the men are unwilling to talk to or even be in the same room with other women.
The most interesting panel was called Arab Israelis; Separation or Exclusion. There are 1.8 million Arabs living within the green line who are full citizens of Israel and are ensured equal rights. Like many minorities within a majority society, these rights are not always realized. There were four people on the panel, One a Jewish Journalist who lives in a settlement, one a former Arab member of a Zionist party, one a Jewish Knesset member and one a member of the Joint List. So many interesting things were said that revealed divisions in israeli society and arab views on the future of the land between the Jordan River and the Mediteranian. The Arab member remarked that he is a Zionist and thus believes in a Jewish state, but that despite his beliefs and membership to a Zionist party, he was subjected to rascist attacks resulting in shame and his exit from politics. When asked if he would join the Joint List, he said he would not. The Jewish Knesset members felt that the ‘tragedy’ of Israeli Arabs is that most want to be integrated into society but they are kept separated by the actions and propaganda of the Joint List, who Identify with the PA, and identifies with terrorists and murderers. At this time, the Joint List member countered, positing that Israeli Arabs are not integrated because they don’t speak Hebrew and Vice Versa. Perhaps Israeli Jews and secular people should be learning Arabic. The final debate on the panel was about Illegal building. Land ownership in Israel is complicated to say the least. For a construction to be legal it has to be approved by the Israeli government before construction… usually. The Jewish former member of parliament stated that the Arabs have an issue in their villages of illegal construction. Immediately, the member of the joint list raised his voice and shot back; Don’t talk to me about illegal arab building! First, clean your own house of crazy settlement building! The reasons Arabs build illegally is because they aren’t granted legal permits in the first place! The woman who lived in a settlement then chimed in; I’m against both Jewish and Arab illegal settlement construction. As I learned last week in the bedouin village, Jewish settlements are often granted legality Post Ex Facto, whereas Arab constructions rarely are.
I left that day with my head bursting, affirmed in my conviction that it is impossible to understand this country from the outside. In the knesset, men who won’t hear another woman sing sit across from women who seek to legalize civil unions and gay marriage. Members of the right wing parties who wrote the nation state law saying that Israel is for the Jewish people sit beside members of the Joint List who deny the right of the very country they serve, Israel, to exist. In the knesset, the feminist superstar comes from the right bloc and the champion of the left bloc was a career army guy. The contradictions in the Knesset represent the vast diversity of opinion and experience in Israeli society. This is a good thing.